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Five simple steps to make a horrible piece of trash movie - ask your five year old son to write a screenplay, approach big stars, invest millions on sets and costumes, compose boring songs and
extend the length of the movie to 3+ hours.
CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA succeeds in all the steps in amiable fashion, but goes one step further, and with a vengeance at that - it insults the audience's intelligence.
2009 has arrived and so have the barrage of hopelessly terrible pack of Bollywood flicks, and to inaugurate the sorry lineup is CC2C. The film bores, irritates and torturously frustrates you in ways you cannot imagine. Director Nikhil Advani (after Salaam-E-Ishq) has once again proved that he should never get behind the camera again. Akshay Kumar has proved that he can outdo an epic disaster called 'Tashan'. Deepika Padukone has proved that long legs and 127 layers of makeup will do no good for any actress.
Who would've thought that a Bollywood film financed by Warner Bros would be such atrocious tripe? What could've been a non stop roller coaster adventure filled with gags has been mercilessly raped by the screenwriters with a plot having more number of holes than a zillion pieces of swiss cheese. We expected a no-brainer time pass film, but CC2C neither entertains, nor does it make you laugh.
The 2 page plot is achingly cliche'd - Akshay Kumar is a vegetable chopper in Chandni Chowk, a couple of Chinese villagers suddenly pop up and claim that he is the reincarnation of a great warrior, Akshay goes to China with them to 'vanquish the villain', ends up being spat and peed upon, he meets two different Deepika Padukones and their father, trains under him...and watch the film to witness the exciting events that follow.
Akshay Kumar is hilarious as Sidhu, but that's about it. Apart from a couple of one liners and one (yeah, really one) funny scene in a plane, CC2C is tiresome from start to end. Deepika Padukone delivers her second straight stinker after 'Bachna Ae Haseeno'. Just looking overly made up and having multiple roles won't help her career, she needs to pick projects with better written characters. Mithun Da makes a fair cameo, but is stuck in this bad movie. Gordon Liu was clearly paid through the nose to appear in the film. Director Nikhil Advani and the screenwriters should go back to film school.
So does that mean 'masala' Bollywood films don't work? WRONG! 'GHAJINI' and 'RAB NE' were huge hits. CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA is a terrible film in all aspects, watch it only if you want to commit suicide with the maximum amount of pain.
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